WITH ANDREA CRISP
Rejection Doesn’t Define You
THEIR NO ≠ YOUR WORTH
We've all experienced rejection. Someone doesn't choose us. A potential client says no. An invitation isn't reciprocated. An offer does not sell the way we hoped. Or someone simply doesn't respond.
And while rejection can genuinely hurt, the deeper pain ususally comes from the meaning we attach to it. We question our worth, why we weren't chosen or if we did something wrong.
In this episode of The Soul Aligned Podcast, we explore what's really happening underneath the sting of rejection—and how rejection can activate old wounds around belonging, worthiness, visibility, and being chosen.
I share a personal experience of when I put myself out there and realizing that my own fear is not really about someone saying no, it's how my nervous system anticipates rejection before it ever happens.
When we've experienced rejection in the past, our nervous system can begin scanning for the possibility of experiencing it again. We may start overthinking, checking for responses, changing our approach, people-pleasing, over-explaining or questioning ourselves before anyone has even said no.
The work isn't to become someone who never experiences rejection. The work is to become someone who doesn't abandon herself when rejection happens.
We explore how Human Design authority can give us a practical framework for navigating rejection without immediately turning to the mind for answers.
SOUL REFLECTION
Where have a been looking outside of myself for answers?
What feels deeply aligned for me right now?
If I trusted myself completely what decision would I make?
ABOUT ANDREA
Andrea Crisp is a certified coach, author, and guide supporting intuitive women in reconnecting with their inner knowing so they can live, lead, and create from a place of deep alignment.
Her work weaves together nervous system regulation, somatic awareness, mindset, and energetic practices—creating space for women to expand into greater ease, clarity, self-trust, and authentic expression.
CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreacrispcoach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSoulAlignedPodcast
RESOURCES
Insight Timer: Cashflow Nervous System Reset for Entrepreneurs
PRODUCTION
Original Music and Production By Stephen Crilly
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Have you ever known the answer to a really big decision you're making, but then you talk yourself
out of it? Maybe you've made a list of pros and cons. You've asked all the friends,
all the people in your life, what they think. You've tried to convince yourself that whatever this
decision is, is a smart idea. And yet something inside of you is telling you otherwise.
Today's episode is about learning. to trust your own authority instead of outsourcing your power.
Hi, welcome to the Soul Aligned Podcast. My name is Andrea Crisp. I'm a coach, author, guide,
and I support intuitive women in reconnecting with their inner knowing so they can live,
lead, and create from a place of deep alignment. My own path has been one of unraveling,
of releasing old identities, healing patterns, and learning to trust my own inner wisdom.
This space is an invitation to return to yourself, to explore the inner work,
the nervous system, and the energetic shifts that allow your life to unfold with more ease,
clarity, and truth. So take a breath and let's begin. Hi there.
I'm so glad that you are joining me today for the podcast. We're talking about something that has
become one of my biggest lessons. It's something that I've been talking about a lot here on the
podcast, and it's really about trust. Trusting yourself, trusting your inner authority,
which we're going to get to in a moment, but really that refers to what human design refers to as
kind of the way in which we access our intuition. So not just leaning into what,
you know, we think might be the possibility for our life or, you know,
making a decision out of fear or trusting someone else's opinion over our own or what looks good on
paper, but actually accessing our inner authority. Because if you have ever found yourself in a
position where you are trying to make a really, really big decision in your life, maybe it's a
financial decision, maybe it's a relational decision, and you're thinking to yourself, okay,
I need to be able to trust myself and I'm not sure how to do that.
This is the episode for you. And even as I was just saying that, there's something that came up for
me. I had this memory. So I'm just going to share it with you. It's not something that I was going
to particularly share here on the podcast today. But I remember being in a relationship back about
five, just over five years ago. And I knew at the time that there was something that was off.
I felt like there was this kind of pull for me to step back. And I did not listen to my intuition.
I felt like this full body feeling like something's not right.
And instead, I decided to just go, you know what, everything looks fine.
Everything seems fine. And in the end, I ended up being totally correct about what my intuition was
saying. But I was overriding my authority. which is for me,
the full body physical response that I have when something is off,
or when I need to move forward with something. And here's the thing, so many of us are conditioned
not to trust our authority, not to trust ourselves. Because from the time that we're really young,
We are probably taught that someone else knows better than we do. Maybe it's a teacher.
Maybe it's your parents. Maybe it's like the experts that are telling you what you should do in
your business. Maybe it's a friend that's had some sort of experience and you're thinking, well, he
or she knows better. Maybe it's your coach. And we're rewarded for making these logical decisions.
and praised for making the responsible choice. And I know that to be true for myself because I was
the oldest daughter. Every time I did the right thing, I was given that, you know, pat on the back.
Like, yeah, that was exactly what you needed to do, Andrea. But very few of us are taught how to
listen to our inner knowing. And instead, we're taught to gather.
more information and to make a list of pros and cons and to research everything to maybe get
someone else's opinion until we're absolutely certain. Now, the problem with this is that it's not
bad to really do research. In fact, there's been lots of times where I needed to do my due
diligence and actually, you know, do the research on something and to know all of my options.
but not to let it replace your own inner knowing. Because when we do that,
we're actually outsourcing our power. And every time we ask someone else what we should do,
we're subtly communicating to ourselves that we really don't trust ourselves.
And then we wonder why we can't really access our intuition. Why can't I hear it?
Why don't I know what it sounds like? And we stop listening for it.
And we just trust in the logic. We trust in the research and we trust in what we see on paper.
And that's when we lose touch with how to access our intuition,
which by the way, is always there. We just need to really relearn how.
to get in touch with it again.
Just this week, this was something that came up for me specifically. I was presented with an
opportunity that looked really, really good on paper. It would provide me with some good income.
And I thought, yeah, you know what, really, this would be a no brainer, right? Say yes. But there
was something inside of me that knew that it wasn't an opportunity that I needed to say yes to
because it wasn't in full alignment with who I am, what I believe and what my values are.
And so I asked if I could take just a day to sit on it and then get back to them.
As I thought about it, I knew in my heart of hearts that this was not something that I needed to
do. But there were all sorts of things at play, like what if I don't get asked again?
And what if I don't make that money? And this is really good. And here it's this great opportunity
that will allow me to do something else. And I remember texting a friend and voice texting her
actually, and going through all of the list of reasons why I didn't think this was the right thing
for me. And it was funny because I was just basically soundboarding to her and she wasn't even on
the other end. And by the time I finished talking this voice text, I knew that it was a no because
I was trying to convince myself otherwise. I was trying to convince myself that it would be a good
idea. And I knew the moment I was trying to convince myself, okay, this is actually not what I
meant to do. And so I immediately sent a text back to the people.
who had asked me and said, okay, I can't do it. I'm sorry. I'm unavailable. And that,
so I sent a text to the people and told them that I was not going to be able to do the opportunity.
And so often we go ahead and say, yes, when we know it's a no.
And when we do that, we're actually telling ourselves that We don't fully trust ourselves and we're
giving away our power. And the more we give away our power to someone else or to a decision that
doesn't feel aligned, the more we quiet our own ability to hear what our intuition is saying.
So maybe you found yourself in that position. Maybe it's been in business.
Maybe it's been in a relationship. Maybe it's been in just, you know, something that you're doing
when you're traveling. You just know you have this gut instinct that it's a yes or it's a no.
But then we're looking for proof that what we think or what we know is true for us.
So why do we override ourselves? Well, because certainty feels safer to the nervous system.
than trusting ourselves does. Because in the trust, there's a lot of unknown,
right? And when we are trying to make a decision, the nervous system wants to know,
well, okay, I need to know all of the certainty. I need to have the evidence.
I need guarantee. I need proof that things are going to work out in a way that is going to benefit
you. But When you're trusting in your authority, you don't always get the proof you need right
away. Sometimes it's really just feeling a sense of peace and knowing,
okay, even though I don't have the proof, even though I don't have the evidence that this is going
to work out, even though I don't like know logically that this is actually going to work out in my
favor, I have this peace that everything is going to work out. And I cannot stress enough how many
times in my life I have had to do this, where I have thought,
I literally have no idea how this is going to work out. I probably should do something else
logically. I should make a different decision. I should go a different direction. But my inner
knowing says, stay the course, Andrea.
is inviting you to trust and to lean into our trust.
And every time we override our own intuition,
we disconnect from our power. Not because we're making the wrong decision,
but because we're reinforcing the belief that perhaps someone else knows better than we do.
And this is one of the greatest costs of people pleasing or looking for someone else's approval.
It's not just that we're going to disappoint someone, but it's that we're going to disconnect from
ourselves and from our intuition. Intuition is the wisdom.
And your authority, especially when it comes from understanding it through the lens of human
design, is the way in which you access that wisdom. So yes,
there is a difference. Your intuition is the inner knowing. Your authority is the way in which you
access your intuition. In human design language, your authority is your body's decision-making
mechanism. And it is really the most reliable way in which we can make aligned decisions when we
learn to use it and when we learn to trust it. And intuition is one form that our authority can
take. But not everyone's authority is intuitive the same way.
So I want to talk about today how we can access our authority and what our authority might look
like in human design. So if you are someone who follows along with human design, you might want to
get your chart. You might want to take a look at what your authority is. And that is going to
really, really help you understand how you're going to access your intuition.
or your inner knowing, right? So it's a different thing. Your authority is how your body responds
and your intuition is what you're actually being led to through your intuition.
Now, one of the reasons why I love human design is because it gives us this language,
right? It shows us that we're all unique in how we make our decisions because not everyone makes
decisions the same way. And if you think that we do, it really just is not true.
Even when new clients are starting to work with me and they're deciding whether or not they want
to, you know, do a program or they want to do one-on-one coaching. watching them make a decision
is really, really interesting because you start to learn a lot about how they're accessing their
intuition or if they're overriding themselves right away. And so many of us do that,
right? And that is a lot of the reason why people come to work with me is because when you have
access to your intuition, when you truly know that you can access it, it makes life and business so
much easier. It helps you to know that you can trust yourself and trust that no matter what's going
to happen, that you're going to be able to access what is coming through for you in a way that
works for you. Because not all decision making is the same.
And to be quite honest with you, we all function and are wired differently.
So we need to know how to access it. So we're going to start with emotional authority. So that's
not what I am. I'm not an emotional authority, but I have many, many friends who are and clients
and an emotional authority is really getting clarity over time.
Okay. So usually it's not something that comes immediate to an emotional authority.
And this is where it gets interesting because many people that have an emotional authority. are
actually really intuitive and they have the intuitive knowing, but their authority is not the
initial feeling. Okay. So they have the knowing,
but they don't access it immediately. So for emotional authority,
they have to kind of ride what is called like the wave until they reach the emotional clarity.
So the initial excitement or fear isn't necessarily the answer for them.
They probably will feel excitement and fear or fear then excitement before they land in a place
where it feels neutral and they've accessed their intuition. So when I'm talking to clients that
have the emotional authority, I'll say to them, don't make decisions right off the bat.
ride the wave, sleep on it, take a little bit of time until you feel like you've maybe accessed,
you know, your authority, and you really know what the answer is, because it will become clear and
obvious over time for you. Now, I'm a sacral authority. So I'm going to talk about that one next.
It has been honestly interesting for me to learn how to access my own sacral authority because
sacral authority isn't intuition in the traditional sense, but it is the body's like visceral
response to what the decision is.
way for me to really explain it or to tell you is like, it feels like, you know,
when someone says something, you're like, yeah, or uh-huh. And your body kind of leans in or it
leans back. That is its visceral reaction to a yes or to a no.
And for me, it took me a long time because I wasn't making decisions that way. And I had to
actually learn to trust when that was happening. Or it would feel like a little bit of contraction
in my body. And as I've learned to trust my authority more,
I can feel it more. But at first it was very, very subtle. Like I really didn't know that it was
there. And if I hadn't really like sat with it, I probably would have just completely never known.
But the more I trust it, the more I feel it quicker. And the same goes for like when it's a yes,
I'll feel like kind of this like openness, like an expansion, like,
ooh, this would be really good. And it's often said for sacrals that they'll get it and like an
immediate reaction or an immediate response to something.
The responsibility of someone who has a sacral response is to not override it by going immediately
to the logic. So as soon as the body communicates something to you is know that that's its first
response before your brain and your logic tries to take things over.
The splenic authority is a quiet intuition. And it communicates subtly.
So it's really like something that is under the surface. And it is very connected to the intuition.
It feels like a what they call a gut instinct. And it's a feeling that happens once it's an
immediate feeling, and it's present, and usually does not repeat itself.
So different than the sacral, in the sense that it's not necessarily a physical visceral response,
but it is more what would be communicated as a gut instinct.
So that is for the splenic authority. So for anyone who has a splenic authority,
it really is kind of just like this knowing, like I just know. For me,
I've often said that I just know, but I am a sacral authority,
so I have to also know that I've probably not really fully tuned into my body yet and allowed
myself to feel into what the actual response is. Now, the ego authority is connected to asking the
question, what I really desire. Not necessarily, what should I want?
But what do I genuinely desire or genuinely want?
And for the ego authority, that really is kind of the basis to answering the questions in their
lives, which is really cool because it gives you the opportunity to really ask yourself,
like, is this something I actually want? Or is this something that... think I should want.
The self projected authority finds their authority in their voice. That is the truth is through
spoken word is through actually saying it. The answer comes for them through speaking it and not
thinking it. So if you're a self projected authority, when you hear yourself speak,
your clarity is going to come through for you. Now I you know,
talked about the example for me where I was voice texting someone and I was listening to myself
talk. And then as I was listening to myself talk, I started to realize what the answer was.
This would be very, very true for someone who is self projected authority. Now,
I probably have learned to do that and conditioned myself to do that.
over time because I wasn't really accessing my body's visceral response.
So I would find workarounds. And oftentimes, you might find that you do that. You might find little
workarounds, or you might hear that, oh, I access my authority through something else,
which is not really my authority. It's probably because you've developed a way of accessing your
intuition through that. sense, and you've learned to do it.
So, you know, we often find little workarounds until we are fully connected to our own authority.
Someone with mental authority gains clarity through the right environment and through a trusted
sounding board. I have a client that one time would just send me a message and she'd say, you know,
actually do not need you to respond to me at all because she would literally just soundboard it out
and then would know the answer.
then maybe she'd say, hey, like, I would appreciate your feedback if you want to give me your
feedback. But most people with a mental authority, they're actually going to get the answer just
because they talked about it. And hearing themselves talk in an aligned environment really helps
them recognize the truth of what it is that they desire and what the decision would be for them.
The lunar authority is really, that's a reflector, right? So if you're a reflector,
you'd want to give yourself time, right? So a lunar authority usually takes a full cycle of 28 days
to make really big decisions, not necessarily all the small decisions, but the big decisions.
So it doesn't mean that you're slow decision maker. It just means that you're wise.
And if you've ever heard, you know, people say, you know, you should date for a you know, more than
just, you know, three to six months, because when you date a full year, then you see the person in
every season. Well, it's kind of like the same thing, right? Like for a lunar authority, it's like
they go the whole 28 day cycle so that they can really see what it is that they truly want and
their clarity unfolds over time. So your authority is a place within you where your truth lives,
but your intuition is the way in which it speaks and what it wants to say.
So trusting your authority is learning to recognize and honor how you are accessing that truth.
Now, of course, I want to... with you what authority is not. Authority isn't just being impulsive
and being like, okay, I'll just do this. Or it isn't acting out of fear, like you're not going to
get another opportunity or you're not going to have enough money or things aren't going to work out
for you. It isn't because you feel like you have to,
like you're coerced into it. Because sometimes the aligned decision is actually uncomfortable.
But discomfort? and misalignment are not the same thing. And that's where you have to learn the
difference between the two, which is why the nervous system really, really comes into play here.
Because when your nervous system becomes regulated, it's easier for you to know the difference
between discomfort and misalignment or between fear.
and truth. And really, it's all about experimenting and practicing and really getting to know it.
Because for me, when I was saying no to this particular opportunity that came up for me,
it felt uncomfortable. It really did feel uncomfortable because I thought, oh, what's going to
happen with this or with that. But at the end of the day, I knew there's a difference between being
misaligned and being uncomfortable. Because as soon as I told them that I was unable to do this
particular opportunity, I had complete peace. And my body was like,
yes, that's right. And now I can just trust that things are going to work out for me in a different
way. And something else is going to open up because I have closed the door to this.
And immediately my discomfort went away.
Learning to access your authority is really in doing it by honoring those small decisions.
It's building that self trust. It is, you know, making a decision and then making another decision
and compounding them over time, stacking them on top of each other. It's really about trusting your
authority to access your intuition. over and over again. And eventually you stop asking,
what should I do? And instead you begin asking, what feels true for me?
What feels true for me? Or how is your body responding? Or if you start talking it through,
and then all of a sudden the clarity emerges, or you wait and allow yourself to feel through what
that decision is for you. The beautiful thing about understanding your authority is that your
intuition, your inner knowing is really the guidance, right? It is, it's going to tell you what it
is that you need to do. It's going to point you in the direction that you need to go. And a lot of
the time, you know, people might say, well, what is the intuition? The intuition could feel like
that God nudge. It can feel like it's your higher self or accessing your higher self.
It's, you know, feeling like you're really deeply connected with the divine. And then the authority
is how you access that. And so everyone's going to feel it differently.
So when someone says, you know, I need to sit on that decision, or,
oh, I just knew right away, or I had, you know, I had to go through a little bit of the ups and
downs before I came to the decision. you now understand what actually took somebody a little bit of
time, maybe to come to the conclusion of what was good for them. And then for the lunar authority,
they're going to even take even longer for the big, big decisions. So I have a couple of journal
prompts that I want to share with you. And I'm going to give them to you. here on the podcast,
because this may be really, really helpful for you if you are finding yourself in the middle of
making a decision and you're like, I need to practice this and I need maybe a little bit of help
doing so. So we're going to start with the emotional authority first. So two questions you can ask
yourself if you're an emotional authority is, where have I been trying to force clarity before it
was time? And what happens when I give myself permission to wait?
Remember, the emotional authority is the authority that rides the wave, right? So if they're trying
to force themselves to have clarity before it's time, it's actually going to probably feel like a
lot more difficult than just like giving themselves time right off the bat.
For a sacral authority, a couple of questions you can ask yourself is what decisions does my body
already know the answer to? This is something that I had to do is just trusting that like,
how do I actually feel when I know the answer and start to like feel into that.
So every time you make a decision and you know, oh, that's a yes, feel how the body feels or how
did the body respond? And then maybe a follow up question would be, where have I ignored?
that response and maybe overridden it with logic. For the splenic authority is what quiet whisper
have I been dismissing? And then what is my first instinct?
And then when has my first instinct been right?
For the ego authority is what do I truly want if I removed the guilt and expectation?
And where have I been choosing obligation? over my own desire and what I want.
The self projected authority can ask what becomes clear when I say it out loud?
And who are the people that help me hear myself more clearly?
This is a great way for a self projected authority to lean into their decision making.
For a mental authority, what environments make me feel most connected to myself?
And which conversations leave me feeling clearer rather than more confused?
And then finally, for the lunar authority, where have I rushed a decision that needed more time?
And what shifts when I allow clarity to unfold naturally?
Now, it doesn't matter what authority you have. You could ask these particular questions if you
want to start with these ones first. Where am I still asking for permission? Right?
Are you outsourcing your power to someone else? Are you looking for someone else to make the
decision for you? What decision have I already made internally, but I haven't honored yet?
And what would trusting myself look like? And I want to share one more with you because I think
this one's really important. If I fully believed I could trust my inner wisdom,
what? would I choose? Friend, when you're making decisions,
it is so important for you to be able to access that intuition.
And the way in which you do is through understanding what your authority is. So if you're not
really sure what your authority is, but then one of those resonated with you, you might be like,
oh, maybe that is it. So I would encourage you to download your human design chart.
And then on there, you'll see what authority you are. And of course, you can always send me a
message if you need a little bit of help. Or if you want to even walk through your human design
chart, I offer a soul aligned human design activation. And this is a reading in which we go over.
just different parts of your chart. If you wanted to even talk about your decision making, we can
look at that in more depth. And it's something that I absolutely love to do. And I would love to
work with you on that. And of course, friend, if there's one thing you take away from today's
episode, it is your authority isn't something you have to earn. It's not something outside of you.
It's something you're learning to remember and to access. And every time you stop outsourcing your
power, every time you pause before asking someone else, every time you honor what you already know,
you are strengthening your relationship with yourself. You're building more self-trust.
And from that place, your decisions become less about proving yourself or getting validation and
more about living in the truth of who you are. in living soul aligned. So friend,
thank you for being here for walking this path with me. If this episode supported you,
please share it with somebody who's on their own journey and leave a rating and review and help the
podcast grow. You can find me on Instagram at Andrea Crisp Coach or online at Andrea Crisp.
friend. If you want to know more about how we can work together, all of those links will be located
in the show notes until next time. Trust your soul knows the way original music and production by
Stephen Crilly.
If this episode stirred something in you, let’s take it further. Book a connection call and we’ll explore what’s coming up for you, and how we can work together to support your next level.
Trust Your Soul Knows The Way.
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