Are You Managing Your Time And Expectations?

There are 168 hours in a week, and guess what?  We all have access to the same amount. Although if I’m honest, sometimes is seems like I have way less than everyone else. With everything that needs to get accomplished in my personal life and in business, it can be so hard to even think of how I can possibly get some time in for myself to recharge let alone create. If we are not careful we can waste the most precious asset we have, our energy. 

We grumble and complain about how busy we are, but the real problem isn’t that we don’t have enough time, it’s that we have poor skills at managing the time we do have. And worse yet we have no idea how to manage our best energy. This leaves us at complete odds with what we really want to value and prioritize in our lives and then we end up frustrated and overwhelmed.

Just this morning I was speaking to a client of mine who feels this exact way. Currently she is trying to scale her business, to hone in on who she wants to serve as her ideal client so that she can achieve her business goals. But in the process she finds herself being way more reactive than proactive. It can be a vicious cycle if not left tended to. So, I will tell you the same thing I told her, "it’s time to break the negative habits that have governed your time so that you can really focus on what is important." And, that my friend takes some heavy lifting. 

Managing your time (which is really your energy) is all about having clear expectations. These principles can be applied to your life as well as your business. 

1) Realize that your time is valuable, and that you call the shots. Maybe right now you feel like a slave to your email or your calendar. Perhaps you can never find time to spend with the people you love because you are too busy trying to get things done. It can be easy to value everyone else over ourselves. That results in not really being able to serve anyone well. When you know who and where to invest your energy, you will find more joy in every project or interaction. 

2) Don’t skip over your priorities when something looks bright and shiny. Not everything is as it appears. Determine what is most important, and do that. First. Seriously, don’t delay - do it first thing. Your priorities (whatever they may be) should always get your best and most valuable attention. Then you can attack your to-do list. 

3) Learn how to manage your expectations. Feelings can be overwhelming, and sometimes we are so concerned with how our lives will affect someone else that we don’t learn to manage our own expectations. This requires shifting your mindset and really focusing on what is important. Not everything is a crisis, and not everyone needs your attention. 

4) Say good riddance to your limiting mindset. Don’t allow yourself to shift back into the negative patterns of belief. Give yourself the room to grow and change, and your life will follow. This will require time and patience. 

5) Make it a routine (habit). Do it over and over again until it becomes second nature. You will soon be excited about getting up every day because you will know where your time and energy needs to be focused. What has your focus gets your attention so focus on the right things. 

As you go about the month of December, focus on what really needs your attention and what doesn’t won’t matter much come January. 

We are better together! 

The Art of Living With Expectation

Sometimes I get these super aggravating thoughts that hijack my subconscious convincing me that I should never expect anything good to happen. I know better. In fact, I help others move past their own limiting beliefs. So it would seem as though I should be able to figure out how to tell myself how to stop worrying excessively and expect the best for my own life. Not so much! It’s one of the hardest things for me to do. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having to convince myself to expect good things. 

Let me back up a little, in case you are completely lost. I’ve been coaching incredibly talented women for some time now, and I love it. And I’d dare say that I’ve found my sweet spot. Within moments of a coaching conversation, I can pinpoint exactly where someone else is leaning towards a negative outcome. It’s basically like seeing a whirling police lights over their head. But with a little effort, I am able to help them reverse engineer those negative thoughts, so that they are able to ‘reframe’ their perspective. 

So, why is it so hard to do for myself?

It could be because I am so closely tied to the situation and outcome, that I just can not see how anything could possibly turn around. Or, that I am so invested in the emotional ties, that it seems impossible to unravel any of them. So instead, I just stew in the negative, which results in rejecting anything positive. 

As a child, I remember getting the best christmas gifts. This one year I got a puppet resembling a monkey that had velcro arms and legs to tie around my body. I freak’n loved that thing. I would wear it all over the house, and barely ever took it off. But then there came a time around twelve years old, where my expectations seemed to never be satisfied. My mom had gone all out to buy me a special gift that year. We had ripped through every other present when I noticed a small box remaining under the tree. I was so excited that it was for me, even though it was not something I had asked for. When I opened the small box, I saw a dazzling set of earrings. Now, I’m not sure what I had been expecting to see, but at the sight of them I burst into tears. They weren’t at all what I expected. And instead of being grateful, I told my mom she should return them. 

Ok, so besides being a complete brat, which I was. Something was rooted deep within me that day. I gave myself permission to expect only the outcome I wanted. And for a twelve year old, you can imagine that is likely the worst possible scenario. The crazy thing about this realization is that I spent a majority of my adult life doing that very thing. Any time something was given to me that I felt was unnecessary, or even something ‘I did not need’, I would reject it. 

You see I had made up my mind about what I wanted, what I deserved (or not), and what would be good for me. My expectations had become fully entrenched in my warped theology. Subsequently, I learned to never expect God to do anything on my behalf. After all He knew how much control I needed to have over my life. Yikes! Even as I write this I am convicted on so many levels. 

Maybe you have felt the same way, and didn’t even know it. Why would the creator of the universe ever want to give his children good things? 

Our ability to walk in the fullness of his blessing is directly related to our expectation of what He desires to do in our lives. Seems simple, and yet we make it so complicated. Lean into the goodness of God, expect Him to be there during our difficult moments, and He blows us away with his extravagant love. When we believe that He will come through for us, not only does he meet our expectations but he exceeds them. He loves to give us good gifts, and loves nothing more than to see us walking in the favour of his blessing.  

We Are Better Together!