How To Bounce Back From Disappointment

I know it’s hard. You put all your emotional energy into something that left you feeling disillusioned. The trust you had is now gone, and thoughts race through your mind like a runaway train. And, you vow to never put yourself in that position ever again. The disappointment is just to much to bear, and there is no way you’ll subject yourself to that again. 

It’s completely natural to feel disappointed when life doesn’t seem to go your way. And, it's especially hard to swallow when you have set the expectations high, and you’ve missed the mark by leaps and bounds.

We’ve all been there. And it hurts, bad. For years I had high expectations of people in my life, and when they were unmet, it felt like a personal assault on the relationship. I would internalize it as something I had done wrong, and pull it back out when another relationship seemed to be headed in the same direction. It was a terrible feeling. Like I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to be disappointed. 

Whether you've experienced the disappointment of relationships, lost opportunity, or even in yourself, there is a way to navigate the feelings that accompany it. 

What happens when you face disappointment? How do you bounce back?

First of all, it’s important to remember that what you are thinking and feeling is temporary. Most of the time we allow thoughts and emotions from the past dictate how we relate to those around us. This can trigger a domino effect of disappointment within our lives. If you've experienced rejection before, then it's likely something similar will trigger the emotions associated with rejection.

There are a few things that you can start to do so that disappointment does not get the best of you.

Adjust your expectations. If you expect that a relationship or a business opportunity will satisfy your needs, it will be pretty painful when things don’t work out. A good rule of thumb is that you should have high expectations, but be adaptable when change is needed. 

Check your motives. Ask yourself what result you are hoping to achieve through this opportunity. If you're putting all your eggs in one basket, hoping that this is going to be the solution to all your problems, you may end up sorely disappointed.

Leave room to expect better things. This may sound like a no brainer, but really it’s key to forward momentum. 

Bouncing back from disappointment has less to do with resolving an issue in a relationship or getting what we want. It has way more to do with our perspective on life. It’s important to hold everything we’ve been given with a loose grip. While we have it in our hands, we can take care of it, but when it’s time to let it go — then we can do so with ease. 

Are You Ready To Create Lasting Change?

Most people don’t have an affinity for change. In fact they try to avoid it at all costs. I used to be like that until I realized my life was meant to have significant meaning which meant I couldn't remain complacent for long. The moment I thought I had the answer or had reached a milestone was the exact time I needed to make a change. I soon learned that I didn’t want change for change sake. If that was the case, I just needed to rearrange the furniture in my living room or get a new hair style. 

Are you someone is ready to go after your dreams, but you’re unsure of how to create a lasting change in order for that to happen?

Here’s the truth…

We're hard wired to repeat the same thing over and over again. And, although that can work in our favour on many occasions, when it comes to creating a lasting change in our lives, it can be extremely difficult to overcome. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that there is no more beyond what we can see. But the reality is that when we learn to embrace change, we can position ourselves for greater things than we could ever imagine. 

And, who doesn’t want that?

In your quest to create change within your life that will propel you towards your dream, I want to share with you three pitfall to avoid, and three tips that you can implement right away. 

Pitfalls to avoid:

1) Failure to define what it is you really want. If you are not sure what you envision for your life, then it’s entirely possible that you will not be able to handle making a change.

2) Listening to your mental chatter. Your mind will work overtime trying to warn you against change. You control your thoughts, not the other way around. 

3) Giving in to self sabotage. The moment things begin to change, you may be tempted to fight against the momentum. 

Tip to create lasting change:

1) Visualize and write down where you want to be. Imagine your ideal future, and the result that you want to see achieved. Write it down so that you can revisit your goal often.

2) Surround yourself with a good support system. It’s not easy to navigate change alone. Ask your friends to keep you accountable to move through the hard parts of the transition.

3) Celebrate the small wins. Don’t fixate on the end result. Stay to the small victories you have along the way. 

Now, don’t get too comfortable with where you end up after you make the change. All good things do come to and end, and it won’t be long before it’s time for you to keep moving forward. So, keep a suitcase packed at the door because this journey is going to keep you moving forward for years to come. 

If you are ready to make a lasting change in your life, and desire to pursue your purpose, I want to invite you to join me for for 5 week interactive online coaching program that will unlock your true purpose and potential. Space is limited - click on the button below for all the details.

Your Purpose Matters

The word ‘purpose’ seems really over used these days, and yet it's the one thing we all seem to be searching for. Some sort of significance, a reason for our life to mean something. It could be because we feel like all of our ‘shitty’ experiences have to count for something. Seriously, why would we have to go through so much, if our lives weren’t meant to impact the greater good of the world.

When I was in my third year of teaching, I had a student ask me if it would be alright for him to practice guitar in my classroom after school. He was moderately talented at the time (he’s now an insane professional musician), but that’s another story. As we sat there, he continued to play through the same song over and over until he had finally mastered that section of the song. To be honest, I sat at my desk feeling a little underwhelmed with my life. Was this all there was for me? I couldn’t imagine my life thirty years down the road from now doing the same thing I was doing that day.

Now, I have nothing but the utmost respect for the teaching profession. In fact, we need more great teachers. But that day, I desperately wanted my life to count, and there seemed to be little hope of really following after the dreams that I'd been working so hard to accomplish. More than anything my desire was to leave teaching to become a professional singer. I imagined where I would go, what stages I might stand on, and everything about it seemed like it was meant to be. 

But, that day something crazy happened to me. As I sat listening to my student, I heard the voice of the holy spirit. In an instant I knew that everything in my life was about to change. As clear as day, I heard him say that if I invested in the lives of others, my platform would be bigger than anything I would ever do on my own. 

You may find yourself in this story; slightly dissatisfied with your life. Dreaming of better things, of feeling more alive. It’s likely you’ve worked hard to get where you are, but now that you're there it doesn’t seem as fulfilling as you thought it would be. And, you wonder if this is it. There has to be more than this. But deep down you’re fearful that really following your dream is going to cost you the safety that you’ve surrounded yourself with. That stepping out and risking failure might be too disappointing. And, that would be too much to bear.

Your purpose matters. No matter what you might say to convince yourself otherwise, YOU ARE meant for more. It’s probably going to cost you something. And, you can’t live hidden behind the limiting beliefs about who you think you are. Friend, you are capable of so much more. 

I continued working as a teacher for another five years before my life radically changed. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to bring my dreams to life. And, there was no one in my corner helping me figure it out. So I went it alone. The transition took me another ten years, and still another career change. I fought with depression, anxiety, and feelings that maybe my dreams weren’t really meant to be. My self doubt kept me down far too long.

Today things are different. I’m more passionate than ever, and everyday I ask God to direct me closer towards the purpose He has created me for. But now I know that pursuing relationship I have with him is foundational to living my life to the fullest. I’m not a lot different from the girl I was sitting in the classroom those years ago. But the one thing that has changed -- is my perspective that pursuing my purpose matters. It matters to me, it matters to my heavenly father, and it matter to those whom I’m in relationship with.

So, whatever stage of life you may find yourself in — don’t lose heart! Keep going after your dreams. Yes, your purpose matters. It matters to more people than you know. 

This week I’m hosting a FREE 5 day purpose challenge, and I’d love for you to take part. Each day you’ll receive an email directly to your inbox with some encouragement and a challenge so that you can start to take action. You’ll also get an invite to join a private Facebook group where I will pop in every day to chat about what you are learning. To sign up, click the button below. I can’t wait to for you to join me on the journey.

Have You Hit A Wall?

It was the true definition of insanity. I had been warned to start taking it easy, and schedule some time for self-care, but for some reason had not gotten around to doing it. My weight started steadily increasing, I stopped going to the gym altogether, and felt terrible about myself. It hadn’t been that long since I had been running 5km a day, and yet for some reason I no longer wanted to exercise at all. In my heart of hearts, I knew I was repeating the same old cycle that I had been on many times before. Two steps forward, ten back. It was a classic case of self sabotage.

I had hit a wall. 

Allowing shame and condemnation to wrap its ugly claws around me, I sank further into despair. My body literally hurt like I had run full speed towards a wall, slammed up against it, and then slid to the floor. And, there I was crumbled in a heap -- feeling sorry for myself.

Over and over again I would ask myself, ‘Andrea, when will you stop repeating this cycle?'. My dreams were narrowly within my grasp, but my insecurity, and fear of the unknown kept me from believing they were possible. I knew in order for my dreams to fully take shape, I had to be healthy in every way. But I couldn’t seem to get a handle on my emotions long enough to make the change. 

This is my story. Yours may sound similar, or take you down a different path completely. One that has led to frustration with yourself, hope deferred and forgotten dreams. Maybe you are questioning if you are even cut out to be doing what you are doing. Or, if you should give up completely. Like me, you may have finally decided it’s time to make a change in your life that doesn’t cause you to spin out of control every time something doesn't go your way.

There is hope, my friend. You can pick up your bruised and battered body, and receive the healing you need. Forget what has happened in the past. You don’t have to keep going back there, doing the same things over and over again. 

And for goodness sake, you don’t have to carry the weight yourself. Or, fix every problem. So stop trying to do everything perfectly, so that you can prove to yourself that you are worthy enough. 

It’s time for you to take care of yourself. To take the time you need to really gain a healthy perspective about your life and your future. 

It’s time for you to truly understand your purpose. 

And, yes you can totally go the road alone. Perhaps you need to. But, if you don’t, and you're ready to see yourself from God’s perspective, then I want to invite you to join me for a 5 Day Purpose Challenge. 

For five days we will set aside everything that has held us back before, so that we can concentrate on what God says about our future. 

Every day for five days (beginning May 29, 2017) I will send you a note of encouragement and a small challenge for that specific day directly to your email inbox. It will be up to you to follow through on the action item.

The best part is that you won’t be alone. You're invited to join a private Facebook group where you can participate as much or as little as you want. I will be popping in LIVE each day to personally encourage everyone in the group. And, I’d love to see you there!

If you have joined me for a challenge before, then I'd love to have you back again. Each season of life brings renewed vision and purpose. But, if this is your first time, I want to encourage to take that step. Letting go of what has held you back, so that you can look towards your future with hope and anticipation. Click the button below to get started.  

Are You Too Critical?

Can I be honest with you? I absolutely hate being criticized. It's one of my biggest pressure points, and probably the number one reason I've spent a majority of my life trying to be ‘perfect’. Although I know it’s a completely unrealistic expectation, for some reason I believed it was attainable. 

Yep, it’s true. 

And, it’s landed me in trouble a time or two. Like the time my Sunday School teacher called my mom to tell her I had criticized another little girls hairstyle before our big church cantata. Or, the time I decided to be negative about another girl in the youth group to a bunch of girls in the bathroom (not realizing she was in the bathroom stall). And, I won’t get into all the times I’ve done it as an adult. You’ll just have trust me on that one. 

Now a-days, I refer to myself as a ‘perfectionist in recovery’. Meaning I’ve spent many years trying to overcome my critical nature, and negative mindset. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized where it all started, and just how I could start to change my mindset. 

So friend, can you relate?

Maybe you clicked on the blog out of curiosity. But, perhaps you may be like me and wonder if your critical nature is keeping you from accomplishing your purpose. So, before I go any further, I do want to offer some encouragement — there is hope! If you do find that you struggle with a critical mindset, you can work to turn it around. But, it will take some serious work. 

So maybe you are asking, 'how do I know whether or not I am too critical?’

Here are five traits of someone who has fallen into the cycle of negativity:

• Holding yourself or others to unrealistic expectations.
• Talking negatively about someone to feel better about yourself.
• Complaining about your situation when you have the power to change it.
• Having the need to fix others, to make yourself look good. 
• Getting frustrated with others (and yourself) when things don’t go your way. 

And, those are just a start. Maybe you see yourself in all or some of those things. If you do, it’s time to take the first step which — acknowledge that you can choose to be positive. 

The need to criticize comes ourselves and others comes from a place of pain, and keeps us bound up in hurt, and unforgiveness. When we give in to it, we are actually sabotaging our own destiny. It’s not that we want to be critical, it’s more that we don’t want to acknowledge the deficiency we see in our own lives. Instead we focus that all that negative energy on what is not working, rather than towards what is possible. The result is shame and condemnation. 

When is the last time, you allowed shame to take the place of empathy? First towards yourself, and then towards others. Stepping into true vulnerability is the only way to release ourselves from the negativity that we become trapped in. Vulnerability can be a difficult thing, because it requires us to release ourselves from the pressure of being who we think we need to be, in order to be who God made us to be.

 Now that you have taken the first step, it’s time follow through. I have created a worksheet to guide you through the process of reversing this negative cycle in your life. This is something that I do on a daily basis, and I believe it will help you as well. Click on the button to download it. 

The Secret To Becoming Influential

We all have that friend that seems to be ‘on trend’ with pretty much everything they do in life. I know I sure do. She’s the cool barometer for our entire squad, and like other women in my life, she's made a profound impact on me both personally and professionally. Although many people try to be cool and relevant, not everyone can be an influencer. It takes a special quality to be a trend setter; to be someone that others look to as a forward thinker. 

And, let’s be real, it’s not just about wearing the right thing, or behaving a certain way. Influencers possess a unique quality that sets them apart in their industry. 

If you have to wonder whether or not you are an influencer, it’s likely you’re not. But everyone has to start somewhere, so here are a few things that will get you started. A little disclaimer - don’t try too hard or it will likely defeat the purpose. At any rate, here are five keys to note when becoming an influencer. 

Own your magic. It’s like the special sauce on a big mac, or your grandmothers secret recipe that you rarely share. Once you have it, do everything with in your power to guard it with your life. Others may try to imitate it, and may even come close. The secret to magic, is having that special ingredient that make others wonder why it’s so freak’n amazing. You may think that what you know is odd, or that you won’t be taken seriously. Don’t worry about that - do you! Trust me -- your magic will come to life when you are truly ready to be yourself. 

Stay narrow minded on what you value. Influencers know what they like, and value what they believe in. They're not looking for someone to tell them what the next great thing is. They can spot it from a mile away. Not only that, but they stay so focused on what is important and don’t get caught up with distractions. They’ve learned that to have influence it means that you have to dig deep and stay connected to your why. That’s how they produce amazing results. 

Build authentic community. There's no better way to influence others than by being in fully invested in community (online or in person). People can spot a fake right away, so it’s important to be vulnerable and share straight from the heart. Some of the best influencers in the world have not only been able to speak their truth, but have built an entire movement of like minded people because they were willing to share their voice.

Talk about the hard things. Now this is definitely not the easiest thing to do, and likely needs to be handled carefully. An influencer is someone who is not afraid to talk about things that people are dealing with in real time. It’s not that they have all the answers, but they are engaging in relevant conversations, and are able to navigate when life is messy. They can play a pivotal role in shaping people’s perceptions. 

Help others succeed. A true influencer knows it’s more about others than it is about themselves. They've learned the value in generosity, and how to encourage others to be better versions of themselves. Influence transcends worry that others may be more successful in the future. 

Being an influencer is not for the faint of heart. The cost can be quite demanding, but in the end it will be totally worth the effort when you see the impact you are making on those around you. 

Are you ready to finally get the breakthrough you need, so that you can become influential in your industry? Join me for my FREE webinar and learn how you can get started right now.

Think You Have What It Takes To Be Boss?

So has anyone watched the new series ‘Girlboss' on Netflix? To be honest, I’ve heard mixed reviews from friends. Some have told me that it's a must watch, and others have said that it’s not really that great. Since, I’m the kinda girl who likes to make up her own mind, it’s likely I'll give it a whirl this weekend to see what all the fuss is about. And, if I like it -- binge watch the entire season.

There is definitely an allure to being a girlboss. The idea of being able to call the shots looks super sexy, and very appealing. But, the reality of being your own boss is quite the opposite. Unless of course you're Sophia Amoruso (creator of #girlboss).  

Maybe you dream of following your passion, becoming your own boss. You may be wondering what life looks like on the other side of 9 - 5. So let me draw the curtain back, and let you in on a little secret. It’s pure hustle, girl. Becoming your own boss is not something for the faint of heart. It’s a hell of a lotta work, with little return at the beginning. 

Sure you get to make your own schedule, but then you have to stay accountable to it. Yes, you get to have lunch with friends, but then you lose all productivity for the rest of the day. Becoming your own boss is ‘adulting’ in it’s purest form. 

Women tell me all the time that they're ready to quit their day job and pursue their dream. It seems all bright and shiny from the outside, but when you get to the heart of working for yourself; it’s important to be armed with all the facts. And, I’m going to give them to you.

Here are a few key questions to ask yourself before taking the plunge.

1) Do you have a good support system? 

Being your own boss is hard. And, can be isolating. But, if you have the right people around you, it is manageable. Your success will largely be related to who you surround yourself with. So, it’s a great idea to join a mastermind, get a coach, or start working in community workspace.  

2) What does your saving account look like?

No matter how you plan financially, there will always be things that come up unexpectedly. It doesn’t take long to blow through your savings account when you are starting out. So come up with a solid plan and then stick to it. You may have to pick up a side hustle, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. 

3) Do you have what it takes?

Rolls eyes. Of course you think you do. Doesn’t everyone? The moment you step into your passion, is the very instant you realize that you're ill-equipped to handle the responsibility that comes along with it. Even if you do have confidence now, you'll have to fight to sustain it. Get scrappy.

4) Are you ready for the fight of your life?

The not so glamorous side of being a hustler comes with physical pain and emotional heartbreak. It’s not easy to push past those things, but you are going to have to if you want a breakthrough. It’s long hours hunched over a computer or stuck in a dark studio. Emotionally the toll can be hard on the best of them — fight for what you want.

5) Is your mind right?

This is paramount. I can’t say this enough. What you believe about yourself will make or break you! It’s mind over matter. Being the best at what you do will come at a price, and there will always be someone better, stronger, and smarter. You will face unimaginable obstacles. Most of them will be in your mind, so be fiercely determined to move past them and believe for your success. 

So, if you’ve gotten this far, you just may be ready to take on your dream. Before you do anything crazy, get honest with yourself about what it’s going to take to really pursue your passion. You're the one in the drivers seat, so be strategic about where you want to go. I’d love to say that becoming your own boss is the best thing you’ll ever do, but I’d be lying. It’s the gutsiest thing you’ll ever do — and only the best survive.

Cheers to all the kick ass girlboss’!

Are You Afraid Of What Success May Cost You?

I’m not a huge fan of change. And, I’ve never been particularly fond of risk. But for some reason I seem to live life on the edge these days. After years of being afraid to fail, I decided that it was time to position myself for success. Shortly there after, the old fears came back with a vengeance. I was inundated with thoughts that I couldn't handle the scrutiny of others, and the more success I achieved the more creative control I would lose. But worst of all was that I would become someone I didn't want to be, and lose friends in the process. 

Because, then what?

What if I spent all this time working towards a dream that left me empty and unfulfilled? What if success came, but all that effort was wasted on something that didn’t make me happy? What if I wasn’t what people (especially those I care about) expected me to be? 

The thought of letting people down was excruciating. 

I was no longer worried I would be a failure, I was worried that I just may be achieve success, and hate it.

Being successful comes with way more risk than failure. It's a complex thing, and one of the biggest reasons we allow self sabotage to derail us from our purpose. 

Even though we pour heart and soul into our dreams, the possibility that it won’t live up to our expectation leads us to downplay our level of ability. It can be an ugly reality, and I’ve been there. For years I was worried of failing; not living up to the expectations of others. But all of the sudden I found myself being afraid of success, and not living up to the expectations I had for myself. Somehow that felt worse and more debilitating.

I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore; I had a choice to make. Either face up to my fear of not being good enough, or be doomed to mediocrity. 

The problem was that I didn't know how to move past my own limitations. The mindset that had kept me bound up for years was now staring me straight in the face, and I was forced to confront my self sabotaging behaviors.

Maybe you can relate?

You are desperate to live out your purpose, and it may seem to everyone else that you know is more capable, and is on track to become a great success. And, yet you fear what it will cost you. 

But let’s turn this around, because the truth is that you were meant to live your life full of purpose and destiny. Don’t let the fear of success hold you back from who God created you to be. 

1) Become comfortable with your choices. Life is all about making choices. And, we have to live with each and every consequence. But nothing is ever set in stone. Things can and will change. Learning to become comfortable making those hard decisions will be the first step to overcoming fear of success.

2) Reconnect to your ‘why’. Your why is your plumb line to everything you do in life. And standing by your values will always land you on the right side of success. Because your success will look like you want it to look, and not like the world says it needs to look.

3) Learn to go easy on yourself. Negative self talk will destroy your confidence in a hot minute. Learn to advocate for yourself, to let yourself off the hook when necessary and to love yourself.

You have something the world needs. And it’s time that moved past your fear of what it may cost you to be successful and be who you were created to be. 

5 Signs You're On The Edge Of Burn-Out

Being everything to everyone, willingly committing to things that just don’t interest you, and sacrificing your precious time and energy will eventually be your undoing. I hate to say it, and you probably hate hearing it, but burn-out is a real thing. I should know because I have been there. Got the t-shirt baby, and now I am on a crusade to help women navigate the choppy waters before they end up bed ridden or worse yet - lose their confidence. 

Every so often, I will be chatting with a coaching client, and out of the blue she will burst into tears - completely undone by the amount of pressure mounting on her. A sure sign that burn-out is close. The good news is that it is completely avoidable and reversible. 

As women we have been conditioned to think that if we don’t jump on every opportunity that comes our way, then we will lose momentum and fall way behind the curve. But, that mentality only creates an ugly competitive drive. And, not the type that has you winning at life. Rather the type that has you trying to out-do your female counterparts on the climb to the top. 

Newsflash ladies… there is enough work and creativity to go around. Full stop.

It is possible to create your own place in the world without turning yourself inside out. And, further to that, it’s ok to pace yourself for the long game. Because if you are living a purposeful life, then you are playing the long game my friend. 

If you start to feel the pressure mounting, look for the following signs that may be an indication that you are close to burn-out and overwhelm. Super important to note - you have to be your own advocate and stay vigilant so you don’t crash and burn. 

1) Impossible expectations. If you find yourself never being able to meet the high standards you set for yourself or that others set for you, it’s time to re-evaluate your level of expectation. As a coach, I would be the first to tell you to set the bar high, but if you find that you are never happy with your success, it’s possible you are being too hard on yourself. 

2) Saying ‘Yes’ with no boundaries. It’s easy to want to please others by saying yes to every opportunity that presents itself. Especially when you are looking to climb the corporate ladder and have a boss who is eager to offload work onto you. But, this can also happen if you work from home. The life of an entrepreneur is not an easy one - go easy on yourself. Create some accountability around your work hours and energy management. 

3) Excessive pressure to succeed. Although the feeling of success is amazing, it can be addictive, and send you down the wrong path. Fight the urge to be successful at everything you do. In fact it can be healthy to try things that you know might fail, just so you can test the waters of creativity. 

4) Perfectionism. This is my favourite because I am a self proclaimed perfectionist in recovery. The idea that we can do everything perfect just doesn't exist. Let go of perfection and embrace excellence. 

5) The need to control. I know you're a brilliant woman, but you don’t have to have the answer to every problem, or be the solution to everyone’s predicament. Let one of those balls drop, it’s likely the world won’t fall off its axis. 

If you feel like you are bordering on burn-out, it’s time to reach out and get the accountability you need to avoid a crash. Your first step will be to admit to yourself that you can’t do it alone, and then ask for the help you need from a mentor, coach or counsellor. 

Step two, put some healthy boundaries in place. You'll be amazed at how everything will change once you have set some parameters around what you are willing to commit to. 

If you are unsure at how to proceed, I'd be happy to help. Let's set up a time to chat so you can get the clarity you need. Click on the button below to schedule a FREE 30 minute STRATEGY SESSION. Let’s determine how you can take some steps forward. 

Do You Fear Being Judged By Others?

It can seem like the best idea in the world until you are forced to have to share it with someone. Just as you muster up the courage to utter the words, you immediately want to take them back. Negative thoughts taking a strangle hold on your creativity. And, even though no one has said anything, the fear still looms. Feeling crushed by the anxiety, you fear that what you have to say is just not good enough. That you are not good enough. 

The moment we give way to the fear, is the very second that our power is snatched from our hands. I have felt it, and I can imagine you have too. If you are living and breathing, it’s likely you have dealt with the fear that you will be judged by others. And, when we are honest about it, it’s not the people we don’t know that we care as much about - it’s the people closest to us. The fear that we don’t measure up, or that we are not enough, can be paralyzing. 

Not long ago, I had a conversation with one of my clients about this very thing. Her voice unsteady as she described what it felt to carry a strong creative vision, and yet be so fearful that it wouldn’t be championed. But as soon as the words came out of her mouth, there was a moment of relief - she had finally taken the power back. Can you relate?

You, my friend carry greatness deep within you. There are so many things that you are yet to do, and ideas awaiting conception. Keeping yourself free to walk in that vision can be difficult, especially if your confidence has been stolen. It’s likely there was a moment in your life that you did feel that confidence, and then something happened. Someone said something, you felt a deep rejection, and just like that your confidence was snuffed out. 

Here is the truth… it’s time you took your power back. It starts with forgiveness, letting go of words spoken to you in the past. It may have started when you were a child, and yet those words have been haunting you to this day. Maybe you were heart broken and the sting of rejection left you feeling as though you would never be enough. Whatever those words were, they can no longer determine your future. Not if you take the power back. Break agreement with every word that keeps you from your destiny.

It’s time you started to believe in yourself. I know that you may want to hear encouraging words from your friends, and to get affirmation from those around you. I do too! But, I can honestly tell you - it starts with believing in yourself. God has created you so uniquely, with gifts and talents that no one else has but you. His vision for your life can only be carried out by you, so it’s time you started to use your voice. Speak your story. 

The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6

Do I Quit Or Commit?

I’ve been known to be a procrastinator when it comes to decision making. I can get in my head about it, and then weigh the pro’s and con’s as though it's some sort of life or death decision. It’s painful really. This is something I am really trying to work on in this season of my life. This mindset took root when I started moving every 2-3 years as an adult. I never had to really think about being too committed to anything, because I knew a move was inevitable at some point, and I could just be there without really being committed. 

But that kind of mindset will diminish your capacity to commit on every level. So, how does one make up their mind to decide whether or not to quit or commit? Since I know I’ve asked myself that many times, it’s guaranteed you have too. So let’s go there.

It really does’t matter what type of decision you are making; being non committal is just about the worst thing we can be. Whether it’s in a relationship, a job, a friendship, or a volunteer gig. It’s super evident when people don’t want to be around, when they have not bought it, or when they really wish they could be doing anything else but that. 

Statistics say that millennials are the most non committal generation, but I’m not so sure. I’m a Gen X’er, and I have felt this way my whole life. Don’t be defined by what ‘they’ say. Instead make up your mind to learn when to quit, and when to commit.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself… 

1) Does this align with my values and beliefs?

You may have gotten an amazing opportunity to team up with a cool organization, but if they do not align with your values - say no! Don’t worry about FOMO, the right opportunity is right around the corner. Being aligned with the right project, team, or person is always going to cause you to win. If you are in a job that is makes your heart sick, this is a good sign that you are not committed to the right job. So, get outta there! Find yourself a job that does fit with your beliefs.

2) Do I have more to learn?

There are so many times when we quit too soon, when there are so many great lessons still left to learn. So ask yourself this question, “what do I still need to learn here?” There may be some great life lessons that only come when things are tough. Hard times don’t always equal 'it’s time to quit', often they mean that it’s time to grow up. I know that may be hard to hear, but character is built when we learn the tough lessons. 

3) Is this effecting my emotional or physical health?

If you are in a place that your health is suffering, then now is a time to take a good look at why. I found myself in a job that resulted in crazy amount of emotional stress, and it wasn’t until I got shingles that I wised up to the fact that it was time to move on. You will avoid burn out by being honest with yourself about your emotional and physical health. Signs to watch for: lack of good sleep, significant weight loss or gain, irritability (anger or sadness), loss of motivation. 

I’d like to say you will always know right away whether it’s time to quit or stay committed. I know it has helped me significantly to spend time praying about my decision, and staying in relationship with people who see the bigger picture. Often your family, significant other, or squad will see something that you have become blinded to. 

If you come to the conclusion that it is time to move on - finish well. But, if you feel like it’s time to set down roots and commit, then do it with all your heart. Be all in! You will be glad you did.

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Calling The Brave

My heart is literally beating out of my chest right now. Maybe I need more coffee, or maybe less. I’m not sure. I’m wild with anticipation, and stupid excited right now. And, nervous. Not nervous in the sense that I am going to fail or fall, more like I have something that I want to share with you. And, I’m not sure about the words. So… I’ll start with a story. My story. 

“You make me brave.”

These words have been my anchor, and over the past three years have rolled through my mind during immense periods of discouragement and frustration. They have have literally lifted me out of sadness on days when I wondered if I was doing the right thing. To me they are more than just words or lyrics to an amazing song. My heart sings them because they have been a guidepost and catalyst to one of the greatest adventures I have ever embarked upon. 

So here is my story. Three years ago I walked away from my calling. I had been deeply hurt as a woman (pastor) in church leadership, and found myself in a place where I questioned everything about what God had spoken over my life. My heart was deeply wounded, and I was experiencing emotions stronger than I had ever felt before. So I ran. I ran as far away as I could from my calling. Sure that there was something else better. Less hurtful. 

I’ve always had a deep desire to connect others to God, to help them move towards Him and experience His love. But in my own pain, I struggled to find my own healing and purpose He had created me for. That purpose of relationship and knowing Him. 

So I took a trip to other side of the world, hoping that I would finally get some clarity. And God met me in the most amazing way. I would like to share it with you.

The day started like a dream, boarding a large boat headed to middle of the ocean bound for the Great Barrier Reef. It was something I had always wanted to do, snorkel in one of the most spectacular places on earth. Unfortunately, the weather conditions were not all that cooperative, and huge waves made snorkeling difficult.

I would classify myself as a pretty good swimmer, but once in the water the waves battered me something fierce. As I tried to stay afloat among the crashing waves, I began to experience sheer panic. I was terrified to continue, unable to breathe, and worried that I had made the worst decision of my life. 

There was rope attached to the boat and I clung to it for dear life. Fear had overtaken me, and I was rendered immobilized. In more ways than one. In that moment I had a decision to make, either swim back to the boat and admit defeat, or launch myself back into the terrifying ocean.

My trip to Australia had been to run from the purpose in which God had called me, and in that moment I was facing my own fears of failure. I was so afraid of what I did not know as well as the possibilities for my life if I surrendered my calling back to Him. What would He ask me to do? Would I be hurt again?

God spoke to me that day. Very clearly. It was not an audible voice, but my spirit knew. He told me that my journey would take me places that required courage. That going out into the ocean was not ever meant to be peaceful, it was for the brave. But, He told me that he would give me the courage if I asked. 

I took the biggest leap of faith that day and continued to swim. In those crazy waters, I saw the most magnificent sights that I never would have seen if I had climbed back on the boat. It was a huge lesson. One that has changed my life. Not only did I choose to face my fear, but to push through it with relentless pursuit.

So, here I am three years later, sharing my own personal journey. The journey that has led me to be fiercely passionate about empowering other women to be brave. To step out of their ordinary life and into the extraordinary calling and purpose that God has so beautifully created them for. 

My own journey has been challenging, and at times discouraging. But, I have held tight to those words and to my relationship with God. Maybe you feel like He is calling you out on the water. And, you are wondering if you are strong enough to brave the waves. You are! I’ve been there, and I know you will get there too. Step out of the boat!

We are better together!