How To Have The Courage To Ask For What You Want

The memory of my first heart break is etched deeply on my heart and soul. At the time I thought this is in love, and had all the feelings that came along with that. But, looking back now it’s really hard to tell what I really felt. What I do know was that it felt as if the earth had split beneath my feet, and the sky tumbled in on me. Oh man, it really hurt. The sting was something I had never experienced before. But trust me when I say I have since felt it many times over. 

Relationships are hard. On every level. And when we don’t have the courage to really speak our truth, we can find ourselves at the bottom of the heap, broken and battered. Unfortunately I’m not just talking about our romantic relationships. I’m really referring to the sum total of all our relationships -- both personal and professional. 

It’s the boss that is over bearing, and keeps you way later than you need to be at the office. And, the friend who you can never say no to for fear of her reaction. I’m going to be totally real with you here. I know we have all been hurt, and felt the painful sting of rejection. It’s never easy, and we are never ready for the fall out when it happens. But worst of all, we are never fully prepared to ask for what we need before it’s too late. 

I get asked some pretty tough questions by some of my coaching clients. They are looking for answers to all of life’s most difficult situations, and to be honest, most of the time I don’t feel like I have the answers they need. I’m no guru, and I don’t pretend to have the answer for everything. But when I get asked important questions, I am compelled to search until I find the answers. 

When it comes to tackling the hard stuff; I want to journey right along side of you. So I asked some of my clients to send me there most pressing questions, and now I am not only going to share the answers with them, but with you as well. I’m excited, hope you are too. 

But since there is no way I can say absolutely everything that I want to say here in this blog post, you’ll just have to catch me on when I go live on Facebook page this coming Thursday at 1 pm. But, more on that in a moment.

If you have ever felt under appreciated or overlooked in a relationship, then I know you can relate to the question that Karin from Montreal asked, “how do I get the courage to ask for what I want?"

Here’s a bit of back story... Karin is an amazing client that I met over social media. It was a chance encounter while we were both a part of Jasmine Star & Promise Tangemine’s 'The Brandologists'. We hit it off instantly and that started a beautiful working relationship. She is brilliant at writing copy, and is a contributor for some of the coolest magazines like Coveteur and Create + Cultivate. But like all women in business, she knows the hardships of having to muster up the courage to ask for what she wants in business. 

Can you relate?

I'm sure you can, so let's go there for a moment. We can all use a good dose of courage to move past all the hard conversations. 

Know your worth, and don’t be afraid to speak your truth.

t’s too easy to get caught up in the every day demands that we can easily start saying yes to anything that demands our attention, but is may not be necessary. Before long we begin feeling undervalued by those we serve in business (and life). Here's a secret: no one will ever be able to value you as much as you can value yourself. Learn how to find the value in who you are, not what you do or even what you bring to the table. 

Be clear about your expectations, and don’t assume that people can read your mind.

Honestly, the trap is set when we think that people know what you are thinking or what is important to you. You have to tell them, and be brutally honest about it if need be. 

Always be ready to give before you ever receive.

That takes guts my friend because it means that you will have to put yourself out there before you ever get anything back. Vulnerability and authenticity is key. But watch out that you don't do it to get what you want. 

Ok, before I get ahead of myself I am going to stop right here. I want to invite you to keep the conversation going on Facebook when I go live on Thursday at 1 pm. I am going to be giving you some practical tips at how you can practically start moving towards being more courageous in every area of your life. It can be hard to ask for what you want, but when you do it will be a game changer in every area of your life. 

CLICK HERE TO JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK

Much Love, 

Do You Have The Courage To Step Into Your Healing

My own personal journey of healing has been painful and beautiful all at the same time. Believe me when I say that I have faced wounding that I never thought I would recover from. It’s not something that happened over night, and there was no magical moment that took away the pain I was facing. Before I go any further, I really want to start by saying this. Whatever you are facing, or have faced can not and should not be compared to the struggle of anyone else.

When I was in college I experienced my first messy breakup. It shook me to the core. For days I stayed in bed, not wanting to face the world or a life beyond that moment. I was sad, depressed, and quite honestly hopeless. One day I was talking to my dad, and he told me something that has stayed with me to this very day, “don’t ever compare what you are going through with the trials that others face because this is the hardest thing you have ever faced.” There was something about that statement that allowed me to see that what I was going through was painful and that I was allowed to feel sadness. But, I could not stay there forever. 

Many of you reading this are facing unbelievable pain from hurt that has happened to you throughout your life. One out of three will have been abused physically, sexually or emotionally. You could have experienced the loss of a parent or a loved one at a very early age. Maybe you have battled with mental illness or some form of depression or anxiety. I’m not here to tell you today that there is a quick fix, or that your healing will be immediate. What I am here to do is to encourage you to take that one step towards your healing. 

For years I battled alone, until I finally had the courage to talk to a therapist. In fact that was the catalyst for me to pursue a career in helping other women. What I did not know then was that it would be the first time of many that I would need to sit and share my hurt with someone else. If you had asked me in that moment, I would not have cared if I would ever help someone else in my lifetime. I’ve come a long way since then. 

Taking a step of courage for you may look a little different. It could be that you release yourself from guilt, or maybe you forgive someone else for what they inflicted upon you. Whatever it is, this is your time. You do not have to do it alone.

If you have been doing the 21 Day Purpose Challenge, you may have gotten to today and thought to yourself that you want to throw in the towel. Can I encourage you to keep going. You can do this!! Maybe you haphazardly stumbled upon this blog today. I would like to invite you to join a group of amazing women who have decided to journey together. Click here and sign up right now. You will get access to a private Facebook group that I trust will encourage you to pursue your healing journey. 

Take it a step further and really pursue God’s purpose for you life by joining Designed With Purpose. We are better together!

Dare to challenge the limits of the ordinary. You, my friend were made for more! Designed With Purpose is a six-week interactive online group coaching program that will equip and empower you to reach beyond your everyday life to pursue your God given purpose. LEARN MORE.

Do You Have Enough Faith?

What happens when you have a dream deep inside of you, but it seems as if everything in the world conspires against it? It may seem as though you take one step forward only to take several back. It’s easy to feel like all hope is lost. Wouldn't it be easier to throw in the towel? To say the ‘hell’ with it, and move on.

The answer may be within your reach, but seemingly out of your grasp. After all you wake up every day, and hustle to make your mark. But, it can get tiring, and you may be wondering if it really worth fighting for. 

Alright my friend, has your faith (your hope) taken a beating? After you have meditated and searched the scriptures for verses to reignite your faith, do you feel as though you are at the end of your rope?

Take heart!

I’m surrounded by amazingly talented individuals. A lot of my friends are young entrepreneurs, artists, and up and coming musicians who are out there doing great things, changing the world.  I know that they have been working for years to see their dreams come to pass. But they are not waiting passively, they wait in expectation. 

Often that is where we go wrong. When we wait passively we become lazy in our thinking, and our hope gets buried underneath the piles of disappointment. But, when we wait with expectancy, our hope is focused on what is to come. 

I know it might seem easier said than done. Trust me. I’m right there with ya. I have big dreams. The kind of dreams that are only possible with God. It can get hard to watch friends and loved ones breakthrough to their promise, and yet wonder if God is ever going to come through on what he has spoken to you. 

Take courage! 

If the fight has been long and you have given up hope, find your strength in God. It may seem counter intuitive to stop the hustle in order for your dream to come to pass. Take courage in what God is doing, and that the character being built along the way will not only sustain you but elevate you to where he wants you to be.

Sometimes it is not just about the dream, but about who you are becoming while the dream is taking root in your life. The dream God has for you can only be sustained by who you are becoming right here and right now. Choose to wait with expectancy, and see what God will do!

Together we are better!

Get clarity on how you can create a life you love by setting up a FREE 30 minute strategy session TODAY! (new clients only)