I’ve been known to be a procrastinator when it comes to decision making. I can get in my head about it, and then weigh the pro’s and con’s as though it's some sort of life or death decision. It’s painful really. This is something I am really trying to work on in this season of my life. This mindset took root when I started moving every 2-3 years as an adult. I never had to really think about being too committed to anything, because I knew a move was inevitable at some point, and I could just be there without really being committed.
But that kind of mindset will diminish your capacity to commit on every level. So, how does one make up their mind to decide whether or not to quit or commit? Since I know I’ve asked myself that many times, it’s guaranteed you have too. So let’s go there.
It really does’t matter what type of decision you are making; being non committal is just about the worst thing we can be. Whether it’s in a relationship, a job, a friendship, or a volunteer gig. It’s super evident when people don’t want to be around, when they have not bought it, or when they really wish they could be doing anything else but that.
Statistics say that millennials are the most non committal generation, but I’m not so sure. I’m a Gen X’er, and I have felt this way my whole life. Don’t be defined by what ‘they’ say. Instead make up your mind to learn when to quit, and when to commit.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself…
1) Does this align with my values and beliefs?
You may have gotten an amazing opportunity to team up with a cool organization, but if they do not align with your values - say no! Don’t worry about FOMO, the right opportunity is right around the corner. Being aligned with the right project, team, or person is always going to cause you to win. If you are in a job that is makes your heart sick, this is a good sign that you are not committed to the right job. So, get outta there! Find yourself a job that does fit with your beliefs.
2) Do I have more to learn?
There are so many times when we quit too soon, when there are so many great lessons still left to learn. So ask yourself this question, “what do I still need to learn here?” There may be some great life lessons that only come when things are tough. Hard times don’t always equal 'it’s time to quit', often they mean that it’s time to grow up. I know that may be hard to hear, but character is built when we learn the tough lessons.
3) Is this effecting my emotional or physical health?
If you are in a place that your health is suffering, then now is a time to take a good look at why. I found myself in a job that resulted in crazy amount of emotional stress, and it wasn’t until I got shingles that I wised up to the fact that it was time to move on. You will avoid burn out by being honest with yourself about your emotional and physical health. Signs to watch for: lack of good sleep, significant weight loss or gain, irritability (anger or sadness), loss of motivation.
I’d like to say you will always know right away whether it’s time to quit or stay committed. I know it has helped me significantly to spend time praying about my decision, and staying in relationship with people who see the bigger picture. Often your family, significant other, or squad will see something that you have become blinded to.
If you come to the conclusion that it is time to move on - finish well. But, if you feel like it’s time to set down roots and commit, then do it with all your heart. Be all in! You will be glad you did.
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