If you have ever felt tossed aside and experienced the deep pain of rejection, or passed over because you don’t measure up to a certain standard, you’ve probably wrestled with your level of confidence. As women we learn that we have to play by the rules by staying relevant in order to be successful. But what happens when we have done everything we know to do, and are still not recognized and rewarded for our efforts? We can be rocked to the core, and the frustration can be deeply personal.
I know the feeling firsthand.
For many years I was told that the first impression I left people with was that I was unapproachable, slightly intimidating, and overly self assured. This seemed so crazy to me because in actual fact that was the furthest thing from the truth. I was desperately trying to cover the painful truth of my own insecurity.
Anyone with me?
The struggle women face with confidence is real. So real, and so very painful. Trying to deal with the pressures and challenges of being everything to everyone can cause us to wonder if we will ever be enough. Let’s face it, even when we put on a brave face, inside we may be dealing with significant issues of self worth and value.
It does't matter how we dress it up, or try and cover our insecurities, they will always be lurking around like shadows that follow us where ever we go. It's not until we have the capacity to face them and confront them, that we are able to operate in our purpose.
Maybe you are thinking to yourself right now that I am reading your mail. But, you feel alone. Let me assure you that you are not alone. We all struggle with our value and self worth.
But, how do we move through this?
Well, first of all let me say that it is a process, and on going journey. It starts by being able to separate our accomplishments from who we are. What we have done (or not done) has nothing to do with who we are. Similarly, our value is not based on the relationships in our lives, how many friends we have (or don't have), or whether or not we have been promoted or advanced in the workplace. This seems so counter cultural to the world we live in.
One of my love languages is definitely words of affirmation. When I am affirmed, It can totally change my disposition by hearing encouragement from someone that I respect and value. If I am not careful, I will look for it almost to my own detriment. Over the years I have had to come to grips with the fact that I am not always going to receive the type of affirmation that I am looking for. And, when I don’t, it does not make me any less valuable than when I am hearing those words.
Maybe you grew up in an environment where you never heard anyone tell you that you are loved and that has left you feeling as though no one will ever love you. As little girls all we ever really wanted to hear was that we are special, that we are loved.
If you are like me you have wondered at different seasons in life if you are enough. With all your faults and flaws, as imperfect as you are, you are still enough. You are worthy of great things. God has not forgotten you, left you out, passed you over. His love for you knows no bounds, and reaches further than you could ever imagine.
Let me remind you today that no oneelse is doing better than you are. No matter how it may look outwardly. Maybe it’s time to take a look at your life from adifferent perspective. The quality of your vision will drive your life and keep you from feeling as though you are failing at every turn. You were created on purpose for a purpose, and you are enough just the way you are.
We are better together!