Sometimes I get these super aggravating thoughts that hijack my subconscious convincing me that I should never expect anything good to happen. I know better. In fact, I help others move past their own limiting beliefs. So it would seem as though I should be able to figure out how to tell myself how to stop worrying excessively and expect the best for my own life. Not so much! It’s one of the hardest things for me to do. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having to convince myself to expect good things.
Let me back up a little, in case you are completely lost. I’ve been coaching incredibly talented women for some time now, and I love it. And I’d dare say that I’ve found my sweet spot. Within moments of a coaching conversation, I can pinpoint exactly where someone else is leaning towards a negative outcome. It’s basically like seeing a whirling police lights over their head. But with a little effort, I am able to help them reverse engineer those negative thoughts, so that they are able to ‘reframe’ their perspective.
So, why is it so hard to do for myself?
It could be because I am so closely tied to the situation and outcome, that I just can not see how anything could possibly turn around. Or, that I am so invested in the emotional ties, that it seems impossible to unravel any of them. So instead, I just stew in the negative, which results in rejecting anything positive.
As a child, I remember getting the best christmas gifts. This one year I got a puppet resembling a monkey that had velcro arms and legs to tie around my body. I freak’n loved that thing. I would wear it all over the house, and barely ever took it off. But then there came a time around twelve years old, where my expectations seemed to never be satisfied. My mom had gone all out to buy me a special gift that year. We had ripped through every other present when I noticed a small box remaining under the tree. I was so excited that it was for me, even though it was not something I had asked for. When I opened the small box, I saw a dazzling set of earrings. Now, I’m not sure what I had been expecting to see, but at the sight of them I burst into tears. They weren’t at all what I expected. And instead of being grateful, I told my mom she should return them.
Ok, so besides being a complete brat, which I was. Something was rooted deep within me that day. I gave myself permission to expect only the outcome I wanted. And for a twelve year old, you can imagine that is likely the worst possible scenario. The crazy thing about this realization is that I spent a majority of my adult life doing that very thing. Any time something was given to me that I felt was unnecessary, or even something ‘I did not need’, I would reject it.
You see I had made up my mind about what I wanted, what I deserved (or not), and what would be good for me. My expectations had become fully entrenched in my warped theology. Subsequently, I learned to never expect God to do anything on my behalf. After all He knew how much control I needed to have over my life. Yikes! Even as I write this I am convicted on so many levels.
Maybe you have felt the same way, and didn’t even know it. Why would the creator of the universe ever want to give his children good things?
Our ability to walk in the fullness of his blessing is directly related to our expectation of what He desires to do in our lives. Seems simple, and yet we make it so complicated. Lean into the goodness of God, expect Him to be there during our difficult moments, and He blows us away with his extravagant love. When we believe that He will come through for us, not only does he meet our expectations but he exceeds them. He loves to give us good gifts, and loves nothing more than to see us walking in the favour of his blessing.
We Are Better Together!