Everyone has that one friend who talks incessantly about their life, spouting off everything they know about this subject or that, with no concept that they’re not really even having a conversation. They’re just yapping - non stop. It can be nauseating. And, if you’re like that, it’s likely I won’t hang out with you for long.
At this point, all my friends are thinking,'do I do that?'
Stop it, NO!
But, in the past I have met with people who are Chatty Cathy's, and are in love with the sound of their own voice.
Can you relate?
If you are like that, let me tell you... it's one sure way to repel people from your life, your brand, and your business. So, stop it... like, right now!
At this point, you may be wondering… am I one of those people? To be honest, I think we all need to take a step back to evaluate if what we are contributing to the conversation adds value, or if we are just trying to get attention.
I know it can be hard to feel heard in a day in age where there is so much noise. But even with social media vying for attention, you can intentional with what you are putting out into the world, and what you are saying. Not everyone wants to hear what you ate for lunch, get your latest update, or where you are planning to go after the meeting.
As a person who works from home, I can totally fall into the trap of wanting to get all my words out on the first person I see each day. And, there are days when I verbal diarrea at the most inappropriate times...TMI?
You feel me?
Are you are desperate for adult conversation, or in an industry that requires you to be seen but not heard? Well, take a deep breath… there is definitely a time and place for you to talk (without losing friends). I’m here to help you have deeper and more meaningful conversations without fear that you are taking up all the air-time.
Tip #1 - Silence is ok. Have you ever heard of the 7 min rule? In every conversation (at around the 7 min mark) there is an ebb and flow followed by a period of silence. If there is an awkward silence, don’t try to jump in to fill it. Take a pause instead. It could be that other person has more to say, and that space will give them the opportunity to share something that might be really important.
Tip #2 - Listen and repeat (without seeming like a parrot). People feel heard when you are able to repeat back to them what they have just said. That means you won’t be formulating the next thing you want to say. Don’t worry, you’ll get time to talk.
Tip #3 - Don’t try and solve every problem, or give useless trivia. (Nobody cares!) Not everyone wants their problem fixed by you, or is interested in what happened in the past. Instead, use your wisdom and discretion before you speak.
Tip #4 - Ask more questions. Give the person reason to want to keep having the conversation. And, for goodness sake - act interested in what they are saying! The more curious you are about them, the deeper the relationship will grow. And, if you generally don’t give a crap, it’s likely that person really isn’t your friend - so move on!
Tip #5 - It’s not all about you. I think that's pretty self explanatory.
Now if you haven’t gotten mad (because you know this is you) and clicked out of the blog, I want to encourage you that if you will start listening more, and stop talk less, you’ll start to see your relationships flourish.
Btw.. this advice works in life and business.
Be the person who everyone wants to talk to. Trust me... what you put out into the world, you will get back. Don’t worry, you’ll get a chance to use all your words!