I’ve experienced the painful reality of rejection a time or two. It never felt good, and it always took me way longer than it should to get over. I’m an all or nothing kinda girl. When rejection strikes, I feel it deeply. To be quite candid, I have been let go from several jobs, and broken up with multiple times. Ouch! It’s hard to even write it. No one, including me, wants to talk about their experience of rejection.
When I take a look back over my life, I see the times when I didn’t have the guts to be myself. There were moments when I did not have the courage to speak the truth when it needed to be said, and to assert myself when necessary. Because I was afraid of being myself, I stayed in jobs and relationships way longer than I needed to. Can anyone relate?
As women, we get so caught up in what others are going to think about us, that we hide our true selves from the world. We show people only what we think they want to see, and nothing more. Before long, we can find ourselves caught up doing things we never thought we would do. We say ‘yes' to way too may things, and feel guilty when we actually want to say ‘no'.
Being assertive is not the same thing as being aggressive. Maybe when you read the title of this blog, you automatically assumed that to be assertive, you would have to harsh and rude. Not even close. We can be assertive without offending others. And, even if we do offend someone… just perhaps it might be their problem, not ours.
Here are few helpful tips that will ease you into being more assertive:
Learn to say ‘no'. And mean it!!! Don’t change your mind and decide all of the sudden that you are going to do something you don’t want to do. Take some time to really understand what it is important in your life, and then say ‘yes’ to those things. At first, this may take some getting used to, especially if you are a people pleaser. But, once you learn how to say no, you will open yourself up to new opportunities that you do want to do.
Express yourself. Sometimes when I am trying to get my point across I get so caught up in what I am trying to say, that it comes out all wrong. Think about what you want to say, and then express it. There is no sense in hiding how you feel, whether good or bad.
Let go of your guilt. You may be tempted to think that you have to please everyone, (your boss, family, friends, etc) but at the end of the day you answer to yourself and God. Stop feeling guilty for not being able to be everything to everyone. Just be yourself!!
It’s time for you to really be the woman God made you to be. Get out there and show the world who you really are!