How To Have The Courage To Ask For What You Want

The memory of my first heart break is etched deeply on my heart and soul. At the time I thought this is in love, and had all the feelings that came along with that. But, looking back now it’s really hard to tell what I really felt. What I do know was that it felt as if the earth had split beneath my feet, and the sky tumbled in on me. Oh man, it really hurt. The sting was something I had never experienced before. But trust me when I say I have since felt it many times over. 

Relationships are hard. On every level. And when we don’t have the courage to really speak our truth, we can find ourselves at the bottom of the heap, broken and battered. Unfortunately I’m not just talking about our romantic relationships. I’m really referring to the sum total of all our relationships -- both personal and professional. 

It’s the boss that is over bearing, and keeps you way later than you need to be at the office. And, the friend who you can never say no to for fear of her reaction. I’m going to be totally real with you here. I know we have all been hurt, and felt the painful sting of rejection. It’s never easy, and we are never ready for the fall out when it happens. But worst of all, we are never fully prepared to ask for what we need before it’s too late. 

I get asked some pretty tough questions by some of my coaching clients. They are looking for answers to all of life’s most difficult situations, and to be honest, most of the time I don’t feel like I have the answers they need. I’m no guru, and I don’t pretend to have the answer for everything. But when I get asked important questions, I am compelled to search until I find the answers. 

When it comes to tackling the hard stuff; I want to journey right along side of you. So I asked some of my clients to send me there most pressing questions, and now I am not only going to share the answers with them, but with you as well. I’m excited, hope you are too. 

But since there is no way I can say absolutely everything that I want to say here in this blog post, you’ll just have to catch me on when I go live on Facebook page this coming Thursday at 1 pm. But, more on that in a moment.

If you have ever felt under appreciated or overlooked in a relationship, then I know you can relate to the question that Karin from Montreal asked, “how do I get the courage to ask for what I want?"

Here’s a bit of back story... Karin is an amazing client that I met over social media. It was a chance encounter while we were both a part of Jasmine Star & Promise Tangemine’s 'The Brandologists'. We hit it off instantly and that started a beautiful working relationship. She is brilliant at writing copy, and is a contributor for some of the coolest magazines like Coveteur and Create + Cultivate. But like all women in business, she knows the hardships of having to muster up the courage to ask for what she wants in business. 

Can you relate?

I'm sure you can, so let's go there for a moment. We can all use a good dose of courage to move past all the hard conversations. 

Know your worth, and don’t be afraid to speak your truth.

t’s too easy to get caught up in the every day demands that we can easily start saying yes to anything that demands our attention, but is may not be necessary. Before long we begin feeling undervalued by those we serve in business (and life). Here's a secret: no one will ever be able to value you as much as you can value yourself. Learn how to find the value in who you are, not what you do or even what you bring to the table. 

Be clear about your expectations, and don’t assume that people can read your mind.

Honestly, the trap is set when we think that people know what you are thinking or what is important to you. You have to tell them, and be brutally honest about it if need be. 

Always be ready to give before you ever receive.

That takes guts my friend because it means that you will have to put yourself out there before you ever get anything back. Vulnerability and authenticity is key. But watch out that you don't do it to get what you want. 

Ok, before I get ahead of myself I am going to stop right here. I want to invite you to keep the conversation going on Facebook when I go live on Thursday at 1 pm. I am going to be giving you some practical tips at how you can practically start moving towards being more courageous in every area of your life. It can be hard to ask for what you want, but when you do it will be a game changer in every area of your life. 


Much Love,