I’m not a huge fan of change. And, I’ve never been particularly fond of risk. But for some reason I seem to live life on the edge these days. After years of being afraid to fail, I decided that it was time to position myself for success. Shortly there after, the old fears came back with a vengeance. I was inundated with thoughts that I couldn't handle the scrutiny of others, and the more success I achieved the more creative control I would lose. But worst of all was that I would become someone I didn't want to be, and lose friends in the process.
Because, then what?
What if I spent all this time working towards a dream that left me empty and unfulfilled? What if success came, but all that effort was wasted on something that didn’t make me happy? What if I wasn’t what people (especially those I care about) expected me to be?
The thought of letting people down was excruciating.
I was no longer worried I would be a failure, I was worried that I just may be achieve success, and hate it.
Being successful comes with way more risk than failure. It's a complex thing, and one of the biggest reasons we allow self sabotage to derail us from our purpose.
Even though we pour heart and soul into our dreams, the possibility that it won’t live up to our expectation leads us to downplay our level of ability. It can be an ugly reality, and I’ve been there. For years I was worried of failing; not living up to the expectations of others. But all of the sudden I found myself being afraid of success, and not living up to the expectations I had for myself. Somehow that felt worse and more debilitating.
I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore; I had a choice to make. Either face up to my fear of not being good enough, or be doomed to mediocrity.
The problem was that I didn't know how to move past my own limitations. The mindset that had kept me bound up for years was now staring me straight in the face, and I was forced to confront my self sabotaging behaviors.
Maybe you can relate?
You are desperate to live out your purpose, and it may seem to everyone else that you know is more capable, and is on track to become a great success. And, yet you fear what it will cost you.
But let’s turn this around, because the truth is that you were meant to live your life full of purpose and destiny. Don’t let the fear of success hold you back from who God created you to be.
1) Become comfortable with your choices. Life is all about making choices. And, we have to live with each and every consequence. But nothing is ever set in stone. Things can and will change. Learning to become comfortable making those hard decisions will be the first step to overcoming fear of success.
2) Reconnect to your ‘why’. Your why is your plumb line to everything you do in life. And standing by your values will always land you on the right side of success. Because your success will look like you want it to look, and not like the world says it needs to look.
3) Learn to go easy on yourself. Negative self talk will destroy your confidence in a hot minute. Learn to advocate for yourself, to let yourself off the hook when necessary and to love yourself.
You have something the world needs. And it’s time that moved past your fear of what it may cost you to be successful and be who you were created to be.